#Repairing Harm Done

[thatonebirdwrites]

I wrote this in September 2023 about Forgiveness and Repair on Mastodon. Wanted to share here (Edited for clarity).

Content Note: discussion of abuse and conversion therapy

Thoughts on Forgiveness

A lot of people believe that forgiveness is necessary for healing, and that forgiving others is crucial. That forgiveness is for other people.

Those are all false.

Forgiveness cannot be realized or become authentic if the person who caused the harm does not engage in repair. Forgiveness isn't just words -- it's a process that requires a foundation of repair before it can be fully realized.

Forgiveness is never about forgetting. It's never about leaving it in the past. To forgive and forget isn't true forgiveness, instead, it's simply denial. The harm still happened. The hurt still lies coiled within the survivor. Trust is still broken.

The person who did the harm? They must hold themselves accountable and engage in repair if healing is to be found. But even then, it is up to the survivor (the one hurt) to decide if they wish to even participate in that process. Honoring that decision is crucial. Repair cannot be forced. It must be consensual.

Without repair, those that caused harm are likely to do the harm again. So it ends up a cycle, where the person causing harm demands forgiveness but yet continues the harmful behavior.

Forgiveness is a bridge that the survivor builds atop the foundation of repair, but that bridge will fall if there is no foundation to hold it up. If the repair by the one who harmed is inauthentic, then the foundation is flawed and cracked. And the bridge will disintegrate.

I have been there, where I tried to build forgiveness bridges in a wild hope that things will improve, that healing could happen. Except, the other person refused to engage in repair, and that hope turned to despair and bitterness.

Instead, the person build faulty foundations, called it accountability, and my forgiveness bridge shattered every time. I fell into the turbulent rapids of pain due to the cycle of harm that did not stop.

I used the words "I forgive you" as a shield to de-escalate the harm before it reached really scary levels, but my words weren't authentic at that point. It was only said to help me survive a bad situation. The one harming me had no intention of engaging in repair, thus it was healthier for me to exit that entirely.

Forgiveness cannot be healing if the harm continues to happen. The wounds from the harm hasn't been given space or care to heal. If someone continues to stab you, your stab wounds will never heal.

You must exit the situation to find healing.

Repair -- Or for those that cause harm how to repair that

By engaging in repair, trust is slowly rebuilt, healing is given space to happen, and that opens up the possibility of forgiveness.

Repair is accountability. Repair differs based on situation and persons involved. One way it can look:

Acknowledge harm done and impact.

Offer repair and ask if the other is open to it. (Consent is always crucial).

Offer ideas on repair and ask the other what their ideas of repair may look like. Be willing and open to this process as it won't be easy.

Follow-through on the agreed upon repair. This builds the foundation of trust.

Communication is crucial as is consent. Hold oneself accountable.

By holding oneself accountable and doing actions to repair the harm, one shows that trust is possible again, that healing of the relationship/friendship is possible.

The forgiveness bridge cannot exist without the foundation of repair completed by the one who harmed. It is the survivor's choice to build that forgiveness bridge or not. No one else can make that decision for the survivor.

Forgiveness as a Process

Forgiveness is a process and demand for a better present and future. It is a reflection on the past and its impact.

Forgiveness is a hope that things are and will continue to improve, that the repair is authentic, and that healing is given space to thrive.

For that healing of relationships/friendships/etc to actually happen? For that hope to be fulfilled?

Repair must be done.

Forgiveness is more than words. It's a process.

A process that starts with the other holding themselves accountable and engaging in repair with the consent of those involved. Again, repair cannot be forced. Through this, those involved rebuild a foundation of hope and trust.

In this process, something new is built in the ruins of the old. We can't ever return to what was, but we can build something from the remains of that. Or we can burn the remains and build a different foundation with the consent of those involved. How the healing journey manifests is unique to each of us, and no one journey will ever look the same as another's healing journey.

Forgiveness is not necessary for healing, and it is okay for a survivor to choose to not build that bridge. It's okay to not forgive the harm done.

Forgiveness and repair are simply a process for rebuilding, which is a journey we can take or we can choose not to take. Each of those possible decisions are valid.

My Story as an Example

I'm a survivor of conversion therapy. I had a friend who pushed me to do it, because that was what she'd been taught. She'd been saturated by anti-LGBT messages, so that was all she knew.

After I escaped and started my healing journey, I still talked with her off and on.

She asked for forgiveness once, and I replied, "Can I trust that you won't do this to me again? Or to anyone else?"

She looked at me and considered my question with an intensity I'd never seen from her before, and she said, "Yes. I will work toward that, and I hope I can earn it back."

She followed through and proved that her words were true. That is when I realized I could forgive her, because she engaged in repair. Because she showed that she meant it.

That friend build a strong foundation, proved she was trustworthy, and so I decided it safe enough to place my forgiveness bridge on that foundation.

In contrast:

My parents, who drove me to conversion therapy, still to this day refuse to acknowledge the harm. They often gaslight me about it. Sometimes mocking me if I bring it up.

When I asked that same question of whether I could "trust them to not do the harm again," they gaslit me instead and engaged in DARVO tactics (Deny, Accuse, Reversed Victim and Offender).

I realized they had no intention to ever acknowledge the harm, to ever engage in repair. They refused to even admit they hurt me.

Without that intent to repair and the follow through, I realized there was no repair foundation being built. Every time I tried to place my forgiveness bridge, it fell into the rapids of abuse and despair. There was nothing to hold it up.

So I walked away. It took me almost eight years to finally walk away, to cut them out of my life for my safety and health.

It took me that long because I misunderstood what forgiveness was at first. I thought if I told them I had forgiven them, that it could somehow repair things.

But it can't.

Saying "I forgive you" to someone who hurt you and continues to hurt you will not repair things. The other person's behaviors and thoughts are outside our control -- they must choose to repair. I cannot make that decision for them.

In regards to my parents, my hope of things improving, of healing happening, of being able to repair that broken relationship? That was destroyed again and again with their refusal to engage in repair.

Thus my words "I forgive you" became meaningless; they served only to soothe my parents' egos rather than aid in my own healing.

It is why I had to stop. Why I had to walk away, because staying in such a situation was hurting me.

It was one of the hardest decisions of my life to cut off my parents, but healing from that sort of toxicity cannot happen while still trapped in that toxicity.

Only when I was free of it could I start to heal from it. That does not in any way mean I forgive my parents. How can I when there is no intent of repair or follow-through?

Conclusion

The person who caused harm, who wants to engage in repair, must step up and say, "I acknowledge that I hurt you. I want to repair that. To earn back your trust. I have a few ideas on how to do this, but are you open to repairing this? And what would be best for you?"

That acknowledgement and offer of repair starts the process of laying out a foundation for the bridge. Then the necessary follow through of actually doing the repair builds up the foundation, so that forgiveness may be realized.

No one is owed forgiveness. No one is owed repair.

We all must make those decisions on what we are capable of handling in regards to repair, forgiveness, and connecting. It is valid and okay to not be ready for reconnecting with someone who hurt you. It's okay if it takes time to build up toward that or to not engage at all in it.

Our healing journeys are all unique. Who we engage with in our healing journeys is up to us to decide. No one can (or should) make that decision for us. We decide what we are capable of handling.

We are valid as we are. We owe no one forgiveness. Do not forget that.

[schmope-is-dead]

me watching random internet users turn “psychotic” and “manic” into #girlythings when you’ve been having episodes since you were 10 and you have to take medication for the rest of your life to feel remotely normal

[shodansbabygirl]

In light of recent events I would like to apologize to the dick bearing population of the planet for what I did with that weighted blanket. In my defense. I misinterpreted the momentum. I misinterpreted the momentum and I flattened my wife's balls and for that I am truly sorry.

[girl4pay]

‘my toddler is so annoying they’ll act out and then five minutes later come to me asking for hugs’ that’s an apology what is currently being described is an apology

[comicaurora]

I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.

When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.

So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.

The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.

This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.

The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:

Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.

And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?

Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?

[luulapants]

Real talk, expanding the Supreme Court is a bandaid solution, which may be necessary but may also lead to serious future consequences for our judicial branch at large. Here are some steps that would actually work to repair the harm done to SCOTUS:

At least one of the liberal judges must begin writing dissents not based on the content of specific cases but based on the illegitimacy of the court. The dissent must state that this court is corrupt, financially and politically, and that none of its judgments should stand as valid case law. This opens the door for #5.

Impeach Justice Thomas for financial crimes. There is abundant evidence of these.

Impeach Justice Roberts for financial crimes. There is abundant evidence of these.

Open investigations into ALL Supreme Court judges (not just the conservative ones - the liberal judges signed that abominable "we are in charge of our own ethics" decision, too) to seek evidence of financial or political misconduct. Proceed accordingly.

Open a Greylord-style Special Commission to determine the chronological extent of the current systemic corruption of SCOTUS. We do not need direct evidence of quid pro quo bribery in specific cases to justify overturning them. The presence of financial misconduct related to even one case means the absence of a bribe in another could have contributed to its findings. Overturn every single case tried under systemic corruption.

This would create a massive, tangled knot of case law, precedent, and judgments, all of which would need to be walked back, possibly decades. It would be a nightmare. It would be necessary. The Cook County courts tackled the same beast during Greylord. There is historical precedent, and the alternative is to continue building our legal system on corrupt case law.

[hxney-lemcn]

SOS — Overblots x gn! reader

summery: The one time you try to be proactive its like the world has it out for you; or, you get hurt while cleaning Ramshackle dorm and the overblot boys are the one who helps you.

tw: mentions of blood, injury, Malleus is a bit overdramatic...so is Grim.

wc: 1.8k (~230 each character)

Master List

No phone, no tv, not even a book. Not wanting to leave the comfort of your dorm, you decide to start something you’ve been putting off for quite some time now. Cleaning. You started with the living quarters, then the kitchen, then the closet. When you finished with the first floor you decided you’d clean your room and be done. Fate seemed to not be on your side, as when you climbed up the creaky steps, one step was a bit too creaky. When you put your full weight on it, you let out a gasp as the wood gave out from under you. Yes, that's right, your dorm was so run down that the stairs gave out on you. And there you lay in pain, no way to contact anyone. Thankfully, Grim came back from whatever he was doing to avoid helping you clean, you had never seen him look so horrified when he found you among the rubble of wood, splinters galore with bruises and scratches covering your skin. You also never saw Grim run so fast for something that wasn’t his premium cans of tuna. You could only hope he could find help quickly, it felt like something was wrong with your ankle and you wanted to get help asap.

❥ Riddle Rosehearts

At first, Riddle watched the panicked Grim wearily. He was always with the Aduece duo so he thought Grim was panicked from their troubling shenanigans. Instead, he felt his heart drop when Grim sputtered your name among the words fallen and hurt. Riddle rushed to the Ramshackle dorm with Cater and Trey in tow. When he found you, battered and bruised he felt his blood boil. He knew your dorm was run down, that it needed repair, but he didn’t think that Crowley would be so neglectful to the point of it harming someone. He would have to have a stern talking to the headmaster after he knew you were treated properly. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to carry you as he…was small for the average man…but he made sure Trey held you gently, constantly asking how you feel and if there’s anything he can get you to help. As soon as you were in the infirmary being treated, he marched his way straight to the headmasters office. No way was he going to allow this to continue, Crowley must renovate your dorm this instant and he won’t settle for less. In the meantime, he’ll take care of you in his dorm, you were basically a Heartslabyul student already, so it made sense. Don’t worry, prefect, he’ll help you while you're injured, although the extra attention you get from everyone makes him a little jealous.

❥ Leona Kingscholar

He was trying to get some rest when your little pest of a rat came bothering him. He opened one eye to glare, confused as to why Grim would be crying. Leona could barely make out what the creature was blubbering about, snapping at him to speak clearly. So when Grim finally managed to shout that you're critically injured and you're going to die and you need help, Leona didn’t hesitate, grabbing the rat by his scruff and stalking towards your dorm. He’ll be damned if you're hurt, what did you even do to get into that state? He swears you are such a headache. His green eyes scanned your dorm, finally falling upon your form in a heap of wood, your weak cry of his name making his ear twitch. So many emotions pooled into him as he noted every little scratch. Although he grumbled, ears twitching and tail swaying angrily, he held you softly, making sure not to hurt you anymore than you already were. And no, clearly your dorm was falling apart, no way in hell was he letting you go back. You were treated much better that time you both shared his room, so what’s the problem? You’re stuck with him now, herbivore. Don’t worry that silly little head of yours, he’ll make sure he clears things up with Crowley.

❥ Azul Ashengrotto

Poor, poor Grim. As he ran out, tears blurring his vision, he cried out for help to the first shadowy figure he could. Unfortunately that was Floyd and Jade. The two eels grinned toothily, Grim once again being perfect prey…though they paused as Grim mentioned your name. Floyd asked what was wrong with shrimpy, and that’s when Grim cried out about how you're a bloody heap of a mess, dying alone as they speak. Jade quickly pulls his phone out, alerting Azul of the current circumstance as his brother is already making his way towards your dorm. Although the Leech twins can be cruel, you were not only their friend, but their boss’s love, and so when they found you, not in as dire of a situation as Grim made it be (you were clearly hurt, but not dying), they gently pried the wood off of you and carried you to the infirmary. Azul was already there, waiting anxiously, his heart dropping when he saw your state. You gave him a strained smile, and his heart broke, even with your terrible injuries, you’re still trying to comfort him. Don’t worry prefect, he and the twins will watch over you until the last scratch seals and the last bruise fades. Oh, and your dorm? Don’t worry about that, Azul will make sure Crowley pays the price for his negligence towards you. He has his ways, after all.

❥ Jamil Viper

When Jamil spots Grim running towards him, he feels his headache growing worse. Kalim had been worse than usual with his spending, and now he’ll have to deal with another problem. That headache grows ten times worse when Grim manages to sputter about how you’re hurt and need help. Without a second thought, Jamil drops his current task, rushing to your dorm. His heart was pounding, scared of just how hurt you could be, why that was, and if he was too late. You’ve been the only thing keeping him sane lately, and he wasn’t sure what he’d do without you. When he found you dazed with wood surrounding you he dropped to your side, assessing the damage done before doing his best to pick you up. Once you were safe and sound in the infirmary, he tried to stay by your side for as long as he could. He didn’t mind the idea of tending to you, especially not with you in this state. But his duty lied elsewhere, and eventually he had to wrench himself away, but only when you fell asleep peacefully and that it was confirmed that you’d recover well. What surprised him was when Kalim told him to take care of you, that he could take care of himself for the time being (he couldn’t and Jamil knew that)...and now you were a Scarabia student, both Kalim and Jamil refused to allow you back into that decrepit dorm and hurt yourself any further.

❥ Vil Schoenheit

Rook and Vil were actually on their way to see you when they stumbled upon a sniveling, sobbing, Grim. They watched him as he mumbled and muttered, spewing incoherent sentences. Vil stared at him with a sharp look, telling him to get to the point. He felt his heart drop when your name was spouted along with hurt and dying. Without a second thought, Rook took off towards your dorm, Vil not far behind. He cared for you far too much to just sit around when you needed his help. He hadn’t even managed to enter your dorm, Rook already carrying you out. Vil rushed to your side, moving your hair out of your face and inspecting you for anything that was death threatening. His heart continued to break as you complained about the pain on the way to the infirmary. He did his best to comfort you, promising to treat you to whatever you wish once you were fully healed. By the end of the day, he’s already finished giving an ultimatum to Crowley. If he doesn’t repair Ramshackle, then not only will he expose him, but he’ll make sure you're taken into Pomefiore and treated properly. He won’t let such an offense be taken lightly. 

❥ Idia Shroud

Grim was lucky he ran into Ortho. The humanoid android may look small, but he’s got strength. Grim was sobbing to the point of hysteria, unable to properly communicate the dire situation. Thankfully, Ortho doesn’t need any convincing, only following the poor creature scrambling back to Ramshackle dorm. When Ortho saw you collapsed in a heap of rubble his inner alarms blared. An emergency signal was sent to Idia, and when Ortho sent the message of bringing you to the infirmary he felt a rush of panic hit him. Scrambling, he turned on the security camera footage, watching with wide eyes at you in Ortho’s arms. You had blood and bruising, dear seven what happened? His fear of your well being overpowered his fear of everything else, and he quickly ran…walked to the infirmary. He awkwardly stayed by your side as Ortho fetched whatever you needed, his eyes tracing over every scratch and cut. He felt like it was his fault somehow. You looked better with the blood wiped off though, and you weren’t in critical condition. When you jokingly mentioned that even stairs were your enemy here Idia frowned. He anonymously messages Crowley while you sleep, sending clips that could ruin his career. He won’t release them, as long as Crowley rebuilds Ramshackle to be as spick and span as any other dormitory. 

❥ Malleus Draconia

The second Grim stumbles upon Malleus and snaps out of his hysteria. The fear of the powerful being overwhelms him for a second before he pitifully mutters that you need help. Malleus only tilts his head at the tiny creature before nodding, silently asking him to lead the way. At first Malleus didn’t think much of it, only happy that you needed his help. That was until he heard your weak whimper, then saw your frail body mutilated by debris…yeah he’s the most dramatic one. Although you were hurt you definitely weren’t mutilated. He’s also the most gentle, carefully cupping your face as the wood that surrounded you was instantly incinerated. Every wince or whimper as he lifted you up was met with profound apologies, like he was the one who hurt you instead of rotting infrastructure. Instead of taking you to the infirmary, he takes you to his room where he brings only the best healers. Please don’t try to stop him, this is for your well being, and he won’t settle for mediocre. Lilia only encourages him, and his retainers are no help. So you're stuck in the biggest bed with the silkiest sheets…actually it's dangerous that you were brought here because you're not sure you could go back to the itchy thin cotton sheets you’ve been stuck using as blankets. Though, you won’t really have to worry about that because Malleus has already made the decision to keep you with him in his room…well if you’re not comfortable with that then he’ll give you your own room and he’ll make sure it has the best amenities. Just don’t mind that it's right next to his room.

[courtana]

📌 Mutual Aid, Fundraisers, and Actions

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Vetted GFM Campaigns 🤝

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Palestine 🇵🇸

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Donate to Focus Congo - partnerships with local grassroots organizations and access to resources necessary for survival

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[thatonebirdwrites]

Thoughts on Forgiveness

A lot of people believe that forgiveness is necessary for healing, and that forgiving others is crucial. That forgiveness is for other people.

Those are all false.

Forgiveness cannot be realized or become authentic if the person who caused the harm does not engage in repair.

If the other person refuses to engage in repair, then the forgiveness is like a bandaid on an infected and bloody wound.

The person who did the harm? Without doing repair, they are likely to do the harm again. So it ends up a cycle, where the person causing harm demands forgiveness but yet continues the harmful behavior.

The person offering forgiveness often ends up trapped in an abusive situation. I have been there, where I held out forgiveness in a wild hope that things will improve, that healing could happen. Except, the other person refused to engage in repair, and that hope turned to despair and bitterness.

In such a situation, forgiveness can't be authentic, and instead becomes a temporary shield to try to deflect the worst of the harm. For me, I used it as a shield to de-escalate the harm before it reached really scary levels, but my words weren't authentic at that point. It was only said to help me survive a bad situation.

Forgiveness cannot be healing if the harm continues to happen. The wounds from the harm hasn't been given space or care to heal.

By engaging in repair, trust is slowly rebuilt, healing is given space to happen, and that opens up the possibility of forgiveness.

Repair is accountability. By holding oneself accountable and doing actions to repair the harm, one shows that trust is possible again, that healing of the relationship/friendship is possible. It builds that bridge, and the survivor will see that possibility and decide whether it is healthy for them to cross it or not. A choice that the one who harmed must accept and respect.

Yes, forgiveness is for the survivor mostly, but again, forgiveness is a bridge built upon the acts of repair. The bridge cannot exist without the repair done by the one who harmed, and it is the survivor's choice to cross the bridge of forgiveness or to not cross it. No one else can make that decision for the survivor.

Forgiveness is a request for a better future and present. It's what you build after the foundation is rebuilt through the act of repair. Forgiveness is a hope that things are and will continue to improve, and healing between those involved are given space to happen.

For that healing of relationships/friendships/etc to actually happen? For that hope to be fulfilled?

Repair must be done.

Forgiveness is more than words. It's a process.

A process that starts with the other holding themselves accountable and engaging in repair, where those involved build up a foundation of hope and trust. In this process, something new is built in the ruins of the old. The final part of the process is the choice of the survivor, and for the repair to be authentic, respect for that decision must be given.

But for that to happen, those involved need to commit to that repair, to that hope, to that building up, and most importantly, follow through.

Forgiveness is not necessary for healing, and it is okay for a survivor to choose to not cross that bridge, to not forgive the harm done.

It is simply a process for rebuilding, which is a journey we can take or we can choose not to take, and each of those possible decisions are valid.

My Story as an Example

I'm a survivor of conversion therapy. I had a friend who pushed for me to do it, because that was what she'd been taught. She'd been saturated by anti-LGBT messages, but after I escaped and in the years where I chose to heal, I talked with her off and on.

She asked for forgiveness once, and I asked her, "Can I trust that you won't do this to me again? Or to anyone else?"

She looked at me and considered my question with an intensity I'd never seen from her before, and she said, "Yes. I will work toward that, and I hope I can earn it back."

She followed through and proved that her words were true. That is when I realized I could forgive her, because she engaged in repair. Because she showed that she meant it.

In contrast, my parents, who drove me to conversion therapy, still to this day refuse to acknowledge the harm. They often gaslight me about it. Sometimes mocking me if I bring it up.

When I asked that same question, they gaslit me instead and engaged in DARVO tactics (Deny, Accuse, Reversed Victim and Offender).

I realized they had no intention to ever acknowledge the harm, to ever engage in repair. They refused to admit they hurt me.

Without that intent to repair and the follow through, I realized I couldn't forgive them, because trying to forgive them only exposed me to more harm and abuse.

So I walked away. It took me almost eight years to finally walk away, to cut them out of my life for my safety and health. Because I misunderstood what forgiveness was at the time. I thought if I told them I had forgiven them, that it could somehow repair things.

But it can't. Saying "I forgive you" to someone who hurt you will not repair things. Instead, it only brought me more pain, because that hope of things improving, of healing happening, of being able to repair that broken relationship? That was destroyed again and again with their refusal to engage in repair. So my words became meaningless, they served only to soothe my parents' egos rather than aid in my own healing.

It is why I had to stop. Why I had to walk away, because staying in such a relation was hurting me. Forgiveness couldn't be realized because no repair happened. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life to cut off my parents, but I've been better off for it. My health improved not having that toxicity in my life.

It's on the other person to step up and say, "I acknowledge that I hurt you. I want to repair that. To earn back your trust. I have a few ideas on how to do this, but are you open to repairing this? And what would be best for you?"

That acknowledgement and offer of repair starts the process of laying out a foundation for the bridge. Then the necessary follow through of actually doing the repair solidifies the bridge, so that forgiveness may walk across it and truly be realized.

Forgiveness is never about forgetting. It's never about leaving it in the past. To forgive and forget isn't true forgiveness, instead, it's simply denial. The harm still happened. The hurt still lies coiled within the survivor. Trust is still broken.

Forgiveness cannot be realized or become authentic if the person who caused the harm does not engage in repair.

[nientedal]

What progress at home has biden enacted? What policies of his show that he is making progress that prove he is actually different than trump?

I like to pretend I have faith in humanity, so I'll answer as if you're asking this in good faith.

Biden's DEA has lifted restrictions on telehealth prescriptions to make appointments and assistance more accessible.

He put a funding package into place to help unhoused people get access to mental and physical healthcare, as well as short-term and long-term housing.

He has attempted and is still attempting to get student debt relief through - this was blocked by Republican judges appointed by Trump, but he's still working on it.

Infrastructure repair - his administration has budgeted funds to actually fix some severely-damaged and frequently-traveled bridges.

Trying to expand access to healthcare to include undocumented immigrants who came to the USA as children (Dreamers) under the Affordable Care Act. Support for Navigator programs and outreach has also been increased.

He has vetoed Republican-led bills that were attempting to overturn environmental protections - one that would have forbidden investment fund managers to consider climate change in their portfolios (I have two degrees in accounting and this is actually huge), and another that would have overturned restrictions on agricultural runoff into our waterways.

He and his administration worked for ages to get rail workers paid sick days.

This is just some of what he's been doing. Meanwhile, Trump and other Republicans want to criminalize the lives of LGBT people like you and me. They want to eliminate no-fault divorce and force births that will kill parents or devastate them financially. They have stated flat out that they want to install a military dictatorship in the USA. They attempted to put that in motion on January 6th, 2021. They failed once. They will do better next time.

One party wants to house the homeless and expand social safety nets, while the other one wants to criminalize homelessness. One of them wants a future in which I might be able to vote to change how much of a war machine my country is, while the other one wants to eliminate my ability to vote entirely. Those are not the same. Those literally are opposites.

At the end of the day, all you and I can do is choose to do the least amount of harm possible. You and I cannot choose to do no harm. This is the USA, we sell war, you and I cannot choose to do no harm. I wish we could, my god do I wish we could, but that is not an option. So we grieve for the harm we couldn't eliminate and work to minimize the harm that is done. Despite all the crap they support, Democrats are the minimum amount of harm right now. Acting like they aren't is exactly what brought us to an election where our options are a future where we are either wading in blood or drowning in it.

Not voting for Biden will not help Palestine. Not voting for Biden will guarantee a Republican president who will make the situation in Palestine WORSE. AND it'll hurt a lot of other places as well, both at home and abroad, because Republicans are about business and the USA is in the business of war! And I would very much like that to change someday! I would very much like to someday be able to choose to do no harm! And I know what I have to do to try for that future, so what are YOU going to do? There is no standing off to the side in this. If you aren't helping pull, you're the dead weight we're pulling. Are you going to dig your feet into the mud and blood and drown us there? Or are you going to get the fuck off your ass, grit your teeth, and help us pull free?

[silverskye13]

Silver's Care Guide for the Impulsively Inclined:

Hi, did you just receive bad news? Are you one of the many many people who, upon receiving bad news, react with self destructive spirals, or lash out in a need for control? Are you just really fucking sad, or angry, and would like an alternative to hurting yourself and others? Are you just feeling a little manic or impulsive?

Welcome to my handy guide for alternative (self) destruction! These are alternatives to physical and immediate harm to your person. That does not necessarily mean they are safe, just safer, and they are all things I've done before to mixed results. With that in mind.

Remember the golden rule: if what you're doing cannot be fixed, repaired, or healed within an hour, don't fucking do it. You have one body, and one life, and regardless of what your thoughts say in the moment, that body and life is necessary for your future happiness. Prioritize yourself; harm objects instead.

Alternatives to harming yourself or others:

Kick something loud. A tin can. A plastic bag. Take it to an outdoor space and see how far you can kick it, and how loud a sound you can make. If you have multiple objects to kick, listen to the differences in sound. How one thing sounds hollow and another rattles.

Kick something soft. A pillow. A hackey-sack. Take it to an outdoor space, or kick it against a sturdy wall (I recommend brick or stone). Listen to the sound of the batting, or the beans. See what shapes you can get it to land in, and how deep a divot your foot can leave.

Tear paper. Get a cheap notebook, some old bills you don't need, note cards or old magazines. See how big of pieces you can make. Put several sheets in your hand and see how thick the paper can get before you can't tear it anymore. See how thin of strips you can tear. Experiment with folding it into shapes and trying to tear along the lines.

Do a very small controlled burn. Newspaper, a cheap notebook from the dollar store, a handful of old homework assignments you don't need, a candle, etc. The best objects are ones made to burn such as matches or candles. In lieu of that, focus specifically on paper, as it will have fewer chemicals/fumes that can damage your lungs if you inhale smoke. Take it to a well ventilated place, the floor of a concrete garage, your driveway, an empty lot or sidewalk. If you have a burn barrel or fire pit, use it. If you have no access to any of these things, make the burn very small [less than half a page at a time] and confine it to your sink. If your building has automatic sprinkler systems, don't do this. Light one edge of your paper on fire and watch it curl. See if you can burn small, individual poke-holes in the page. If you are lighting a candle, watch the wax melt. See if you can light one match using another. When a match is used, try and burn what's left of the stick. If you want some extra catharsis, write a person you hate, a source of your angst, or just general thoughts on the paper you're burning.

Throw rocks. Go outside and touch grass -- and look for rocks while you're there. All sizes are fair game, but the bigger they are, the harder they are to throw. I recommend something the size of a marble. Gather a number of rocks and throw them one at a time, trying to hit targets like trees or fence posts. If you can find a convenient body of water, throw them in there and listen to the splash.

Skip rocks. Skipping rocks across the top of the water can also be a fun challenge to use your aggression on. For skipping rocks specifically, you want a stone that is smooth and flat. Hold it between your forefinger and your thumb, and throw sideways in an arcing motion. You are trying to get the rock to spin. The combination of the spin, and the force, and the flat side hitting the water, causes the skip. I average 3 skips per stone. Beat my average. My Papa, who taught me, used to routinely get 5-7 skips. Beat him after you beat me.

Play a violent or fast paced video game. Most people have games on their mobile or console devices these days. Pick something quick, with low investment and high reward. Shoot-em-ups and arcade games. Something with a number that ticks up, and stock zombies you can kill. Try to beat your high score, or aim for an exact number. My lucky number is 13, so I will often try to score a number that's a multiple of 13.

Break glass. This one requires some investment to do legally and safely. Note: I am not telling you to throw rocks at people's windows or vandalize property. This is an alternative to those things. Find or obtain (I buy mine at Michael's for $10) some glass panes. They can be multicolored if you're feeling fun. Cover a pane in an old sheet or the plastic bag you bought it in. With a thick soled shoe or a rubber mallet, smash it. Try to make fun shapes with the pieces. Listen to the crunch. Keep a broom and dustpan ready, and make sure you have dedicated time to clean the mess. There is nothing worse than walking barefoot through a room and cutting open your foot.

Smash pumpkins, guards, watermelon, etc. Exactly what it says on the tin. Grab your murder-able vegetable of choice and a weapon (stick, hammer, sword, axe, etc) and go wild. Make as big a mess as you can. I mean absolutely destroy that fruit. If you aren't covered in the blood of your prey, have you really won? Take a long shower afterwards, and wear clothes you don't mind staining. Too depressed to clean up the mess? It's fruit. The local wildlife will thank you. Though if it's summer, you may get ants/bees.

Switch a tree. Find a switch. If your parents never made you pick your own switch, congratulations. If they did, you know exactly what you're looking for. Grab a stick, something green and flexible and long -- whip like. Go to the tree you wish to switch, and smack the shit out of it. You can also do this to bushes. Try to make the whip-crack noise, listen to the whistle of the branch through the air. See if you can take the individual leaves off a branch. Smack the shit out the tree with your switch until the switch breaks. If you're still feeling angry and impulsive, rinse and repeat.

Alternatives to moping sadly / wallowing in self pity:

Write a list of things you enjoy. This is just to remind you that you do have joy in life, actually. Focus on finding the smallest things possible, the ones that are truly niche to you and you alone. An example for me would be the strange purple-red color your veins take on when bright light is shining through them. I could stare at that color for ages. I'm talking really strange, personal joys. The way a sharpie brand pen clicks. How saying a word too much turns it into not-a-word. Make a list of those things.

Find a favorite texture and run your hands over it. Over and over. Obsessively. If this texture happens to be a pet, all the better! If not, that is also fine. My favorite texture is running my fingers through my hair when I've put hair gel in it. The feeling of detangling it with my fingers, all the sharp brittle hairs loosening into softness again, is the most cathartic in the world. Close second is my fingernails on very cheap construction paper, the pulpy stuff they give to kindergartners. Pass your hands through the texture until it loses its allure. Listen to the sounds it makes when you run your hands across/through it. Smell it, and smell your hands after you've touched it. Rub it on other parts of your body, like your arms or your neck. Try to pick it up with your feet.

Eat your favorite food. I don't give two shits about calories. This is comfort. If you don't have access to your favorite food, or it is too hard to cook with the energy levels you have, get the closest approximation you can find, or get your second favorite. Eat it slowly. Try to pick the tastes apart on your tongue. Make obnoxious noises while you eat, or eat it in a way you normally wouldn't. Eat ice cream with chopsticks. Eat soup with a butter knife. Lick pudding off the tines of a fork. Use your hands I don't care. Slurp out of the bowl like a dog. Pretend you're a caveman. Get stupid and silly. It's food. It's food. It's food. Enjoy every moment of it!

Tell a friend how awesome they are. Pop into their inbox and ask them about their day. Call them and ask for five minutes of their time. Invite them to dinner. You don't have to get super heartfelt if you're scared of being weird. Just say "Hey, have I told you you're awesome recently? Because you are." Be prepared to list at least one reason why.

Go cry about it. Seriously. In the words of my boss, "Sounds like you need to drink a bottle of wine, put on the saddest episode of your favorite TV show, and have a good sob fest." Crying is a releasing of built up chemicals in your brain, which is why people sometimes cry when they're happy or pissed -- you've got too many emotions inside and you need to literally put them outside. So if you're feeling the Miseries and need a quick release, give yourself a reason to cry and go for it. And I'm not talking like, tasteful wife mourning her husband lost to war with a single stoic tear down her face. Get ugly. Sob your eyes out. Scream, and wail, and thrash. Pretend you're an Irish widow who's just lost her child to famine and dirge. Lament. Do that thing in the Bible where people are so upset they tear at their clothes. When you're done, breathe, and breathe, and breathe again. That feels... Better. Doesn't it?

Listen to calming music, or sing/hum a song. This one might just be a me thing, but it is hard to be truly miserable when there's a soundtrack playing in your thoughts. This works best if the music you're listening to has no words, and is calming. We are not looking for sad mixes on YouTube. We are looking for lofi, and orchestra, and rainy mood. Something to dampen thought, not enhance it. I like putting on rain sounds and humming as I walk through my house. It lets me take action while still providing background noise I can rely on.

And that's about it, I think. I hope! My scattering of thoughts can help you! Or at least get you thinking about what works best for you. Feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments and I will try to reblog them!

Remember: we are prioritizing the safety of self here. This is to curb impulses for self harm, and self destruction, and the harming of others. Above all else, stay safe.

You've got this. I believe in you.

[margaretthatchersdead]

Reasons to end the monarchy: Charles Edition

Well it's the coronation so you know what it's time for.

The entire concept of a monarchy is actively undemocratic. The head of state should not be someone who is only in that position because they were born into a certain family.

Having a monarchy upholds classism as a specific family of great wealth and power are viewed as superior to others.

They stand for a history of racism and imperialism. This country has done some truly terrible things in its history and the monarchy are a symbol of that. In order to attempt to begin to undo the harm that we have done, we need to remove this symbol of oppression.

The royal family have previously lobbied the government to hide their own personal wealth. Despite this, we are obviously aware that they have a large amount of wealth.

Prince Charles has himself lobbied the government on a number of occasions. His 'black spider memos' show that he has repeatedly pressured ministers on a wide range of topics from the Iraq war to badger culling to alternative therapies. He has used his power to lobby the government on subjects that would affect him.

The monarch does not occupy a ceremonial role as is frequently claimed. Ministers and civil servants have to consult the monarch. Civil servants have to get the consent of the royals on pieces of legislation, which can cause delays on implementation.

Even if the monarch did occupy a purely ceremonial role, as a literal billionaire he wields a ridiculously high amount of power over people.

Windsor Castle brings in less money than Windsor Legoland does. The many castles that are owned by the royal family could be used to create spaces for the public to enjoy or to be used as a shelter for the homeless. The Louvre in Paris used to be house of the French monarchy and gets over twenty times the tourists. Edinburgh castle hasn't had the monarchy live in it for centuries and yet still brings in tourism.

Prince Andrew is widely known to be connected to Jeffrey Epstein; yet he has not had to face any repercussions for his actions despite blatantly lying when being asked about his actions. The royal family have defended him and prevented him from facing the consequences of his actions.

They cost around £334 million per year. This money could be used to help the poor, given to the NHS, to repair and build infrastructure, to support small businesses that are struggling, pretty much anything.

The royal household publishes a much lower figure about the cost of the royal family, so they are actively trying to cover up their cost.

Charles has had access to confidential Cabinet papers, undermining our democracy.

He has publicly championed alternative medicine and has repeatedly promoted it. He sent at least seven letters to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency, that then shortly relaxed the rules governing the labeling of herbal products, ones he as part of Charles's Duchy Originals produces.

He lobbied the health secretary regarding greater provision of alternative treatments on the NHS.

In 2018, 46% of Britons wanted him to abdicate immediately after Elizabeth died. He’s barely wanted by the country even with the sheer amount of pro-monarchy propaganda going around. Charles specifically is very unpopular.

In order to speak to him, broadcasters had to sign a 15-page contract, which includes Clarence house attending the rough and fine cut edits of films and if unhappy can remove that contribution, as well as stipulating that all questions directed at him must be pre-approved and vetted by his representative.

His personal wealth is £1.8 billion. He inherited a large amount of this from Elizabeth, with it being exempt from inheritance tax. Having an immunity from this tax when others don’t is ridiculous.

The Duchy of Cornwall was named in the Paradise papers.

The coronation is going to cost £100 million during a cost of living crisis.

People have been banned from protesting Charles with official warning letters were sent to anti-monarchists.

Protestors who block roads, airports and railways could face an entire year behind bars. Locking yourself to others, objects or buildings could go to prison for six months and face an unlimited fine. Police are allowed to head off disruption by stopping and searching protestors that they suspect.

The public were encouraged to swear allegiance to the new King when he gets sworn in, this is a deeply disturbing suggestion.

He's a billionaire who's going to use the public's money to celebrate himself.

The monarch has sweeping immunity from many laws

He owns business parks and small rented cottages, six of the ten top residential homes, 285,000 acres of mineral rich land. He’s ridiculously rich in a country where so many people are facing extreme poverty.

[nesyanast]

"Jewish law teaches that the person harmed is certainly not obligated to forgive a perpetrator who has not done the work of repentance. And even if repentance is wholehearted and demonstrable, if apologies have been offered and amends made, how and when forgiveness factors in is not always straightforward. Is forgiveness something the victim can choose to do at any point? Definitely. Can it sometimes be a useful part of the healing process? For sure. Is a victim obligated to forgive? Well, as we rabbis are fond of saying, that’s a whole other conversation. It’s worth mentioning that forgiveness isn’t the same as reconciliation—returning to some sort of relationship that will continue into the future. Regardless, I want to spell out that, in Judaism, a person can do real, profound, comprehensive repentance work and even get right with God—experience atonement—even if their victim never forgives them. Repentance and forgiveness are separate processes." On Repentance and Repair by Danya Ruttenberg

[cy-cyborg]

Tips for wring amputees: its ok if your amputee can't repair their own prosthetics

There's a trope in fiction for amputees to always be these mechanical geniuses who can make and repair their own prosthetics, endlessly tinkering away and improving them. This isn't a particularly trope, and i dont think its harmful or anything, but in reality, prosthetics are REALLY, REALLY complicated, and a lot of amputees cant do their own repairs. And thats ok. Like, prosthetic creation and repair is way, way harder than I think people expect. Well outside the skillset of your standard mechanic, handy man or craftsperson.

People who make and repair prosthetics are called prosthetists. To become a prosthetist, most countries around the world today require you to have completed a bachelor's degree in specifically in prosthetics and orthotics, which covers not only how to make a prosthetics (and orthodics) but a great deal of medical knowledge, physics, how different forces impact "non-standard" bodies, the additional biological wear-and-tear that comes with being an amputee and so much more. This will qualify you to do the job of fitting/making the prosthetic socket (the part that attaches to your body) and putting premade components together to make a functioning device. On top of this, many prosthetists are also expected to have artistic skills, sewing skills, good physical strength and dexterity, IT skills, and more recently, knowledge of 3D modelling and printing.

You want to make all the high-tech components the prosthetists put together to make the full prosthetic? The requirements for that vary country to country, but most will require at least some level study in the field of engineering and/or medicine, on top of what was already required for the prosthetics course.

The reason for all this is because even "basic" prosthetics are extremely finicky, and messing up one thing will have a domino effect on the rest of the body, especially in more complicated prosthetics. It can also result in people getting severally injured if anything is even slightly off. many leg amputees for example end up with spinal issues due to extremely minor issues with their prosthetic that weren't caught until years later, and by then the damage had been done.

Some amputees do learn to do basic repairs. This is most common in places like the US, where a visit to the prosthetist can cost hundred to thousands of dollars (depending on your insurance), but it's also quite common in rural parts of countries like Australia, where cost isn't an issue but access is due to vast distances between major cities. I was personally in this category; as a kid, my nearest prosthetist was 6 hours away. My prosthetist was able to teach my dad, who later taught me, how to do some of the simple repairs, but we still needed to go in every few weeks for the more complex stuff (Kids prosthetic need more adjusting than adults because they're still growing. Also I was rough on my prosthetics and broke them a lot lol).

But even after being taught how to do repairs and having my prosthetics for 20+ years, I only ever did these sorts of repairs to my below-knee prosthetic. I will not do any repairs of any kind to my above knee leg, which is much more technologically complex. Every time I tried, I made it worse to the point where the leg was unusable. I just leave those repairs to the guy who went to university to learn how to do it, and sometimes even he needs to send it off to someone with even more specialist knowledge when it's really badly messed up lol. Last time that happened Australia post lost the package. Not really relevant to this post, I just find the idea of it being sent to the wrong place by accident hilarious, it was one of my more realistic legs too so someone probably had a heart attack when they opened that package lmao.

Anyway, back on track lol.

This isn't even touching on the fact that on some more advanced prosthetics, many features are actually locked behind a security barrier only prosthetists can access. My prosthetic knee has an app on my phone I can pair it to, that allows me to change certain settings and swap between certain modes for different activities that tell the leg to change its behaviour depending on what I'm doing (e.g. a mode for running, a mode for cycling etc). but most of the more in-depth settings I can't access, only my prosthetist can, and he can only gain access to those settings with a security key given to him by the manufacturing company that requires him to provide proof of his credentials to receive it. I don't really agree with this btw, something about being locked out of my own leg's settings makes me feel a bit of an ick, but it's set up like this because people used to be able to access these settings and they would mess with things to the point their leg was virtually unusable. Because altering one setting had a domino effect on all the others, and a lot of folks weren't really paying attention to what they were messing with, all their prosthetists could do was factory reset the whole leg, which causes some issues too. Prosthetic arms are often similarly complex, as I understand it and have similar security barriers in place for more advanced arms. I don't know for sure though, so take that with a grain of salt.

All this to say these are incredibly delicate, finicky and complex pieces of equipment. There's nothing wrong with having a techy amputee character who can do their own repairs, but in reality, that is pretty rare, and its ok to have your character need to see a prosthetist or someone more knowledgeable than them. It's a part of the amputee experience I don't see reflected very often in media. In fact, the only examples I can think of in fiction (meaning not stories based on real people) where this is reflected are Full metal alchemist.

technically I think Subnautica Below Zero also mentions prosthetists are a thing in that world, but its a very "blink and you'll miss it" kind of thing...in fact I did miss it until my last playthrough lol.

[porcelain-siscon]

noticing your doll has always had trouble walking, something it rarely does because you carry it in your arms almost everywhere you go and wondering what the problem is. the issue isn't hard to pin down, as when you slide its socks off, you can see that its feet are just a single part. no joints below the ankles, just a mass of the porcelain like material that makes up most of the rest of its body

even if it doesn't walk on its own very often, you can't be having that. it deserves better. you measure the foot as carefully as you can, making sure it'll still be able to wear its old shoes, and take extra care with the ankle dimensions so you can make a clean fit. for days, you toil away, often with the doll at your side, crafting a new pair of feet for it

gone will be the solid lumps of material, replaced with jointed toes, themselves attached to a jointed part to allow for more range of motion with each step, even adding a bit of range to the heel. though the feet are no longer sculpted to be cute like the old pair was, there is a beauty in the new jointed model, an appeal in how it allows for more motion. you can't help but feel proud of your work

you motion for the doll to hold out its arms, allowing you to more easily lift it up onto the workbench. you brush its hair away from its face, smile, and ask it to stay still, making sure to guide it through the process to ensure it knows it's safe. it's always been good at staying still, and it's trusted you for a long time, but you always make sure reassure it whenever you're doing anything to change or repair it

you bind its legs to the workbench at the shins, tightening the leather straps so you can pull on the first foot. you don't wince at the sound of tightening cable, something that takes effort on your part, as you don't want any worry to show on your face. a snapped cable wouldn't irrevocable harm the doll, but it would still feel pain and it would be a lengthy repair, to say nothing of how its trust in you may suffer as a result

once the foot is separated enough, you place a spacer between the joint and the leg to keep the cable loop locked, then unhook the old foot. the most difficult part is over, and now all you need to do is hook the new foot in place. you make sure you have the correct one, not wanting to make the same mistake you did when repairing its hands some months ago, then hold it tight as you remove the spacer. once the spacer is out of the way, you keep holding onto the foot and slowly guide it into space so that it doesn't snap, potentially harming the leg and the ankle

a perfect fit. you smile at the doll, brush its hair for a few seconds, and call it a good girl. you're already halfway done and it's done a fantastic job. in its stillness, you can feel its appreciation

the second foot is replaced just as easily. the cable in this leg isn't as old, having been replaced some time ago, so the tension change isn't as audible. you place the spacer, you unhook the old foot, and hook in the new one. just like the last one, you slowly move it into place, making sure it's secure in its fitting

with both new feet in place, you loosen the straps and lift its legs up at the knees to let it know it's able to move again. you smile at it, then move each one of its toes one by one

"can you do that for me?" you ask, waiting to see what happens. it takes a few moments, but soon enough, in the exact order you moved them, the doll moves the toes on its own

"keep going" you say, hoping it takes the hint

it does

the joint further up each foot moves down and then up, as it tests the full range of motion, then moves its feet independently of its heel. finally, it curls its toes down along with the rest of the foot, then flattens it out. it turns to look at you and even though its face remains static, you can tell it's smiling

you help it down off the work bench and hold its hands as you guide its tentative first steps on its new feet. it's clumsy at first, but soon manages to adjust itself to the new feelings and the new range of motion. it leans back and forth, side to side, adjusting itself in ways that it was never able to in the first place

it does not smile, but it does hug. a quiet hum resonates through the porcelain like material that makes up its neck, almost like a high pitched purr

you're glad you could make it so happy

[riskyraiker]

So I saw your requests were open and that you do both x men and tfp, leading to me wondering how would the team prime and the cons react to a mutant reader? And could readers mutant ability be like Johny Storm from Fantastic 4? (Keep up the good work 👍)

LOVE IT! ALSO YOU GET EXTRA POINTS FOR MIXING UP TFP AND X-MEN. I wrote this as platonic. Let me know if you want any romantic version

------------------------------------

How did you end up like this? No one knows, but they don't even know you're like this. Ecxept Miko, Raf and Jack, since you know that they're friends with huge fraggin robots. When you met the bots it wasn't the best situation, because you were enraged about the events that happened at home that day. Almost engulfed in flames you calm down when you spot Miko talk to a bit bulky bot behind an abandonded building. You saw the bots which resulted in you being brought to the base. You were amazed that you could forget the sorrow you have for being different. You grew close with the team really quick, even Ratchet took a liking to you. The moment the team sees your ability for the first time was when they were cornered by cons in a energon mine. Since there was no backup at the moment you ran out and light yourself up. At first the autobots thought you were an alien or something, but when they realize it's you they didn't believe it at first. The vehicons weren't so lucky since you almost melted some of their limbs. Once the fight was done they just stared at you. "Uhh..guys? Does anyone have some spare clothes?"

Optimus Prime

He would be confused. Like literally confused which is rare, but still you managed to achieve it.

You're human and fire should hurt you. How do you light yourself on fire?!

The moment you tell them that you're a mutant and your not the only one they start to do some research on these so called "mutants"

He would ask you what you can do and what your abilities are.

Doesn't like the idea of having you on the battlefield even if it means that the autobots have the upperhand

You're now his child. No objections.

The team needs help? You're there to melt them down and that earns you a big lecture from Optimus about how they can't risk human lives.

If he's wounded you would melt the metal gently and repair it.

Since he's made of metal some of his plating might be cold. So he absolutely loves how you work like an furnace.

Ratchet

Almost freaked out by your abilities.

"Y/N IS ON FIRE BY THE ALL SPARK WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING"

The moment he gets to know about your so called mutation he turns into a fragging scientist. Blood samples, dna samples and etc.

Anytime there's any need for repairs he just picks you up and points where repair is needed.

"Fix it, you're smaller, steadier and you're hot"

He wouldn't realize his mistake until you laugh straight into his face "what's so funny? Wha- NO NOT LIKE THAT"

He would love your help in the medbay since you can mold wounds.

Your now his favorite assistant in medbay and in the lab

Bumblebee

He thinks you're so awesome! A human who can light themselves on fire with no harm?!

He would ask you to fly or use any other abilities out or nowhere because he wants to see you as your true self

If you could understand him he would straight up just rant how cool you are. He also gave you a nickname which is Firefly

He loves giving you hugs since you're so warm.

He's in trouble? They're melted before he can even ask for backup

He's your big bro now and Raf your lil bro. You're the best sibling duo there is.

On cold nights he would just keep you on his shoulder so he could feel your warmth close to his face so he can relax

Arcee

Oh she would be speechless. You can melt vehicons, fly somehow and just in general use your abilities

You're now her favorite human (BYE JACK)

She would love to watch you make fireshows

Your warmth would comfort her since she's lonely sometimes

She would call you as backup anytime the team is struggling

✨The sassy team✨

Oh you two would be unstoppable. Cybertronian femme whose sassy and a mutant who is also sassy.

Bulkhead

Oh he would take you for a drive to ask you all kind of questions

First he thought the cons lit you on fire and panicked

After that he wants to see your abilities. That includes you having clothes on (of course🤨)

He would be so interested, but terrified about your ability to melt cybertronians

He's a wrecker! Of course your abilities will be useful.

He wouldn't like the idea of you in the battlefield, but still is amazed how well you handle it.

The big chunky guy is usually warm but won't mind some extra warmth from your body in the colder days.

He's bored? Be ready to fire up.

Wheeljack

Oh oh oh! You'll never hear the end of it. He's around every corner begging you to light up.

He's more chaotic than bulkhead so of course he's after you all the time and asking you to set things on fire.

Wouldn't actually mind going on patrol with you since you're so awesome

He would secretly carry you around on missions to have you melt the cons. I bet he would stare sadisticly.

But don't worry he wouldn't risk your life! If you want to stay safe he won't bother you anymore. (Maybe)

Any old enemy of his he managed to meet on earth would most likely be melted by his request to bring you along.

Ultra Magnus

He would not be happy about you breaking protocol and not staying in the base.

But he would be grateful about you saving the team

"Aaww you're worried about me" No teasing! Now you're in for a 1 hour long lecture

He would find your mutation interesting, but would let it be since he's a robot himself

He's always cold. Mentally. And! Physically so he wouldn't admit it but does love your body warmth.

Smokescreen

"YOU'RE ON FIRE?! COOL!" Wouldn't understand that isn't normal until he's back in his senses. "YOU'RE ON FIRE! AHH PRIMUS WHY ARE YOU ON FIRE!?"

Would absolutely love your abilities even if you would be insecure about being 'different'

If you ever would kick decepticon aft he's your 1# fan in the background

He finds beauty in fire so he thinks you and your abilities are absolutely stunning

If he's scared about succeeding or about the future you would be there on his shoulder warm like an oven which calms him down

-----------------------------

The team were in trouble. Why? There was a surprise attack by Megatron himself. You flew through the groundbridge so you could help the team. You were almost too late as Megatron had his servo/sword up and about to strike Optimus. Hurrying you catch on to his servo and start to heat up, melting his servo in the process. "GAHH! WHAT ARE YOU!?" Megatrons sword and blaster were both out of the game since you melted most of his servo. Having the upperhand, the cons give up and leave. There was one con left. Megatron. "This isn't over, Optimus. Not with you and your firey PET!" Oh oh, he was pissed!

Megatron

That little mutant dare to melt his servo!

He didn't even know you're a human with a mutation until soundwave found footage and info about you.

Would try to get revenge on you, but doesn't want to risk losing his servo again.

For once the warlord was worried about his opponent.

If you could melt his servo, could you melt your way through his whole frame?

He didn't show it, but the thought actually made him shudder.

He couldn't lose to a pathetic human who is 10 times smaller than him.

In short, he hates your guts but loves your abilities.

Soundwave

The moment Megatron asked to find information about you, a switch flipped in his processor.

Finally he found a human interesting. A extraordinary human to be specific

If he had time he would try to see you on cameras so he could catch you for Megatron

He wasn't scared or anything, but would be slightly worried could you melt his screen off?

He did almost catch you, but you lit up inside him so he had to drop you out before he would fall down from the sky.

Knew that you're stronger than anybot thinks. Wouldn't mess with you unless he has something to overpower you for example: some relics

Knockout

If he ever I MEAN EVER sees you in action he would definitely run away and protect his paintjob.

Fire + his beautiful plating/paint job did NOT go together.

If you would try to attack him, you won't see him after a while. He's AFRAID of you.

Would always seem busy when he heard lord Megatron talk about a mission where you could be involved.

"Knockout!" The cherry red medic saluted. "You have a mission to go an retrieve a relic. Y/N could be there, so be quick." "My Liege I'm in the middle of a medical check up I don't have t-time. Send breakdown. He's willing to do it."

If you're on the nemesis he would run away like from the bot zombies in season 3 of tfp xD

Shockwave

You're mutation was...illogical

A human shouldn't be able to light themselves on fire

Would ask permission from Megatron to take you as a test subject.

Be careful not to be caught by him! It would be worse than having others afraid of you and your freaky abilities.

He wanted to see how you could work with your abilities. How could he make them..Logical

Wouldn't be afraid of you. Oh no no no. He would be so so so interested about your abilities he wouldn't care if he would get melted at the same time.

Predaking

He would love your abilities to be on flames, but! Since he's a decepticon and a predacon ofcourse he has to attack you.

Would speak to you someway or another in his bipedal mode during a mission

If he need fire styled company, he would try to contact you. He doesn't care if you're part of the autobots. You're his friend

Frag Megatron and Shockwave. You're warm like him! You're now his grandchild!

You would joke around that he's your actual king! Since you both are fire themed basically.